Faith is our refuge in caring for the older generation
by Jose B. Pilar
For this issue of the family.com, I would like to share with you, dear readers, a story about my friends Benjie and Chit. In their earlier years, they were a couple whom you might call young and upwardly mobile , a yuppie couple who were making good, just like many others who became successful in business and contributed to the advancement in society. Being a yuppie was one of the buzzwords of todays generation referring to the baby boomers of the Sixties and Seventies. And now, both Benjie and Chit are in a new phase of their lives, for they have now become senior citizens, both being in their 60s.
As far as I can remember, Benjie and Chit have been living comfortably in a nice house in the suburbs, with a community of good neighbors who have become their close friends. Their place is located close to the amenities, and not far from their places of work. This is their family abode, where their 4 kids were born, and where their family grew to maturity and learned what life is all about. Indeed, they have the blessings of a family life that is so sweet, so fulfilling, and so full of joy and love and satisfaction.
But these days, the house once filled with youthful and playful voices and laughter has become now peaceful and quiet. The young sons and daughters have grown tall and mature. They have since married and have gone on to live their own lives. Benjie and Chit are once again a couple, albeit elderly, and now alone in a large family home, now an empty house. The young kids have moved on to create their own homes and families.
Soon, there will be a baby, a grand child, one or two, or three. And the lucky grandparents will look to the future with wonderment. Isnt life a never-ending cycle? Truly, babies are great and wonderful. They are Gods gifts to us, to the world. They renew our spirit. They renew us.
One day, Benjie got sick and had to be rushed to the hospital. Thank God for kin and close friends and neighbors who came immediately to help! Thank God for doctors and nurses who are friends in the community! Thank God for prayers and expressions of healing prayers!
It was okay at first. They have had a health maintenance card from way back. But then complications came, and the insurance cover was no longer enough. The prospect of a long illness was in the horizon. Who would take care of Mama and Papa, now that they are getting old, and have become sickly?
Yes, infirmities will come upon the elderly sooner or later. And for Benjie and Chit, that time is now. Time to collect on what has been prepared for retirement and long term care, if any. And reality must be faced. Hard decisions, if needed, have to be made. But for sure, life will no longer be the same.
Bens story happens to many Filipino families, and could happen to you or me. Often, the love and care that is needed, particularly in the long term, comes from loving family members. Our Filipino culture is well known around the globe for familial love and devotion to our close kin and that closeness is some kind of an insurance for care and attention when the time comes. Filipino tradition call to the extended family as the fallback for elderly care, unlike in the Western countries where care-giving has been institutionalized.
Often, long term care is so demanding upon a familys resources of time, energy, and financial means, and so, when there are not enough provisions for long term support, the situation becomes a test of the familys will to make hard decisions.
Perhaps personally helping one another in life-changing situations is not as simple as we like to think. No. Among other things, families have to face a change of lifestyle; decisions are needed about housing and home care. We are met with the thought of whether to move on to another, perhaps, more convenient place, and to decide who will be responsible for a certain time, Decisions upon the future disposition of the family home and properties come into the picture. Is the family prepared for this? Who will be willing to take on the caretaker responsibility? Who will be willing to sacrifice ones time and opportunities to give loving care for Mama and Papa?
In times of need, we like to turn to the Lord for understanding, for guidance and for help. This is our Faith, molded over the centuries of our Catholic Christian upbringing. The Church and its king, Jesus Christ, is the Filipinos special sanctuary. By his Faith, he is ready and available to extend his love to a beloved elder who is in need.
Great sacrifices are made possible by strong faith in God who extends His grace and mercy to all who believes in Him. The strong spirituality of the ordinary Filipino is his saving grace. It is the major factor in his decision to do good. In special situations of healing and prayer, the Filipino who believes places all his trust in the unseen hand of God, praying that He reaches out to him, to protect him from harmful anxiety in their lives . A strong faith is the Pinoys healing and saving strength. Faith will make him abide by Gods goodness; Faith will make him humble, forgiving and patient. Faith makes one succeed as a person, and as a member of the family and of the nation.
For this issue of the family.com, I would like to share with you, dear readers, a story about my friends Benjie and Chit. In their earlier years, they were a couple whom you might call young and upwardly mobile , a yuppie couple who were making good, just like many others who became successful in business and contributed to the advancement in society. Being a yuppie was one of the buzzwords of todays generation referring to the baby boomers of the Sixties and Seventies. And now, both Benjie and Chit are in a new phase of their lives, for they have now become senior citizens, both being in their 60s.
As far as I can remember, Benjie and Chit have been living comfortably in a nice house in the suburbs, with a community of good neighbors who have become their close friends. Their place is located close to the amenities, and not far from their places of work. This is their family abode, where their 4 kids were born, and where their family grew to maturity and learned what life is all about. Indeed, they have the blessings of a family life that is so sweet, so fulfilling, and so full of joy and love and satisfaction.
But these days, the house once filled with youthful and playful voices and laughter has become now peaceful and quiet. The young sons and daughters have grown tall and mature. They have since married and have gone on to live their own lives. Benjie and Chit are once again a couple, albeit elderly, and now alone in a large family home, now an empty house. The young kids have moved on to create their own homes and families.
Soon, there will be a baby, a grand child, one or two, or three. And the lucky grandparents will look to the future with wonderment. Isnt life a never-ending cycle? Truly, babies are great and wonderful. They are Gods gifts to us, to the world. They renew our spirit. They renew us.
One day, Benjie got sick and had to be rushed to the hospital. Thank God for kin and close friends and neighbors who came immediately to help! Thank God for doctors and nurses who are friends in the community! Thank God for prayers and expressions of healing prayers!
It was okay at first. They have had a health maintenance card from way back. But then complications came, and the insurance cover was no longer enough. The prospect of a long illness was in the horizon. Who would take care of Mama and Papa, now that they are getting old, and have become sickly?
Yes, infirmities will come upon the elderly sooner or later. And for Benjie and Chit, that time is now. Time to collect on what has been prepared for retirement and long term care, if any. And reality must be faced. Hard decisions, if needed, have to be made. But for sure, life will no longer be the same.
Bens story happens to many Filipino families, and could happen to you or me. Often, the love and care that is needed, particularly in the long term, comes from loving family members. Our Filipino culture is well known around the globe for familial love and devotion to our close kin and that closeness is some kind of an insurance for care and attention when the time comes. Filipino tradition call to the extended family as the fallback for elderly care, unlike in the Western countries where care-giving has been institutionalized.
Often, long term care is so demanding upon a familys resources of time, energy, and financial means, and so, when there are not enough provisions for long term support, the situation becomes a test of the familys will to make hard decisions.
Perhaps personally helping one another in life-changing situations is not as simple as we like to think. No. Among other things, families have to face a change of lifestyle; decisions are needed about housing and home care. We are met with the thought of whether to move on to another, perhaps, more convenient place, and to decide who will be responsible for a certain time, Decisions upon the future disposition of the family home and properties come into the picture. Is the family prepared for this? Who will be willing to take on the caretaker responsibility? Who will be willing to sacrifice ones time and opportunities to give loving care for Mama and Papa?
In times of need, we like to turn to the Lord for understanding, for guidance and for help. This is our Faith, molded over the centuries of our Catholic Christian upbringing. The Church and its king, Jesus Christ, is the Filipinos special sanctuary. By his Faith, he is ready and available to extend his love to a beloved elder who is in need.
Great sacrifices are made possible by strong faith in God who extends His grace and mercy to all who believes in Him. The strong spirituality of the ordinary Filipino is his saving grace. It is the major factor in his decision to do good. In special situations of healing and prayer, the Filipino who believes places all his trust in the unseen hand of God, praying that He reaches out to him, to protect him from harmful anxiety in their lives . A strong faith is the Pinoys healing and saving strength. Faith will make him abide by Gods goodness; Faith will make him humble, forgiving and patient. Faith makes one succeed as a person, and as a member of the family and of the nation.
posted by montalut @ 5:55 PM
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